The Art of Letting Go

03.00 am, almost dawn. It was my first time facing death. Many stories about doctors who resuscitate their near-dead patients and managed to bring them back to life. But I didn't. It was my first time performing resuscitation on real patient but I didn't succeed.

Previously, a senior of mine calmly informed the family about the patient's worsening condition. That we had given all our best, all the medication and medical procedures we had known to save the patient's life. And after she had gone, it was my senior who calmly explain about the possible cause of death, about his deep condolences to the family, and that he will be there if any of the family need help on anything regarding the late patient. I was near speechless. Maybe it was my emotion, I was overwhelmed by disappointment and grief. It was more than a death to me.